Even the most seasoned smoker occasionally gets a little too high. It’s that pivotal moment when someone hands you a brownie, tells you to eat only half, but you, in all your overt confidence, eat the whole thing. Then all of a sudden, you’re melting into the couch contemplating the imminent doom of the universe until you have consequently become the couch.
Well, for some, that experience is fun. For others, it’s the perfect recipe for a whitey. And virtually nobody enjoys that. So what do you do? Contemplating the end of the universe pretty quickly leads to paranoia, which pretty quickly leads to a full blown green-out. We are seasoned experts, not just in the art of getting high, but in the art of getting out of a way too intense cannabis high. And we’re here to help with that exact kind of situation.
Things not to do when you’re too high
While there are important things you should do when you’re too high to relax yourself a little, there are some definite don’ts. The don’ts are usually about minimizing the backlash of your excessive highness — like having to explain to your parents and friends why you checked yourself into a psychiatric facility. So that’s the first thing not to do:
Do not call the ambulance
Contrary to what you might think, you’re not dying! Unless you have a serious medical condition or are in the middle of a stupid and risky act, it’s virtually impossible to overdose on cannabis. If you’re otherwise a normal, healthy human being, and you’re just on the couch being extremely high, then you don’t need to go to the emergency room. It will cost you money and time in lengthy explanations to paramedics, family, and friends. Plus, it’ll be pretty embarrassing when you finally check out of the hospital realizing you just smoked a little too much weed.
Do not consume more cannabis
It’s sometimes a mystery why people who are too high think that smoking more might solve their problem. It’s not going to. It will probably make things worse. You don’t need to take more, even if your friends are egging you on to do it.
Don’t leave your friends
Unless it turns out that your friends want to go out to a party or other social event that you’re not interested in (because you’re way too high), don’t leave your friends. They are your safe zone. They are the ones who should be trying to talk some sense into you. Plus, they’re the ones who are going to laugh with you when it’s all said and done. Keep your friends close and as a source of comfort.
Things you should do when you’re too high
Now this is the fun part. These are all of the things you can try to bring yourself back to Earth — or cloud nine, depending on what your projected destination is. None of these things involve going outside of your house or friend’s house, none of these suggestions are unsafe, and at least one of them is bound to work!
1. Relax. It’s all in your head
Despite what your monkey mind is trying to convince you, you are not dying. It’s not the end of the world, and there are probably no police at the door. Remind yourself that most of this is in your head, which isn’t such a bad thing because then you can talk yourself out of it. Plus, it’s important to remind yourself that no matter how much THC you just consumed, most of it will be out of your system within 24 hours.
On top of this, nobody has ever overdosed on weed. A lot of people have done a lot of stupid things on weed that have eventually led to injuries, but no healthy individual has ever actually died directly from cannabis use. You won’t be the first.
A lot of people get this sudden surge of confusion and paranoia right before they’ve actually peaked, and most of it has to do with the question, “Oh dear god, how much more high am I going to get?” That feeling will fade within a matter of hours, and by the next day, you’ll feel completely normal. So relax. It’s all in your head.
2. Lie down
Actually, the one risk that’s associated with greening out or whiteys is dizziness. It’s not altogether uncommon to start feeling dizzy if you’re a little too high, and you don’t want to be fainting around the place and hurting yourself. So sit down on the couch or lie down somewhere cosy and comfortable.
You might want to watch something on Netflix or just zone out listening to some tunes. It doesn’t really matter what you choose to do, so long as you’re not standing. If you’re feeling dizzy, it shouldn’t last too long either. You should be able to get up and move around within 20 minutes without a spinning head anymore.
3. Drink some water and have a light snack
This is all about indulging your senses. Remember that your senses belong to your body while that incessant voice in your head belongs to your mind. To shut up that incessant voice, use your sensory organs to come back into your body. And of course, the most palatable and satisfying way to do that is with food!
If you have some fruits lying around, that’s the best choice. It has some sugar which should make any dizziness go away. Drinking water will keep you hydrated and will prevent the drys from arresting you later on in your high! But whatever you do — don’t throw back a few beers to dry and quench that thirst. Alcohol makes the effects of cannabis stronger, so keep that for another weekend.
4. Distract yourself with something fun
Sometimes, the too-intense weed high is a result of having to conform to social situations. What if you’re too high to have a conversation? What if you’re too high to be hanging out at the party? Well, it happens to the best of us! But don’t let the confusion and paranoia get the best of you. You can go and distract yourself with something fun.
Watching a movie or listening to some music are great ways to shut up your mind and restore some sort of mind-body connection. If you’re feeling up to it and you know the area around where you are, you can go for a walk. If you’ve got some friends around who want to play a round of cards or Monopoly, you can do that too! The whole point is to try to forget the chatter that’s making you all confused and paranoid and do something that you find more entertaining.
5. Sniff or chew some black peppercorns
Okay — this one might just be an old wives tale. But there are a lot of stoners out there who swear by the black peppercorn trick. All you have to do is sniff or chew on a few black peppercorns and you’ll feel brand new in no time!
Perhaps this has something to do with engaging your sensory organs. Black peppercorns are extremely fragrant and aromatic, even to chew. A strong smell like pepper might just bring you back into your body and bring your attention back into the room instead of in your head.
6. Have a shower
You know when you’ve just got off a really long flight, and you feel like you’ve just been hit by a freight train? When you get home, what’s the first thing you want to do? Shower, of course. And when you get out of the shower, what’s the first thing you say? Oh man, I feel like a brand new person!
For some reason, having a shower does that to you! Make it nice and hot and take as long as you need. As long as it feels relaxing to have water running all over you, enjoy it! When you get out, you should feel completely brand new!
7. Talk it out with your friends
If you’ve tried everything and none of that has worked, ask some of your friends if you can talk it through with them. You’ll be surprised how many of your friends have been through this exact same experience, and they might be able to shine a light on what’s happening to you. Plus, they might have some funny stories that will lighten up your mood a little.
The one thing you shouldn’t let your friends do is egg you on. Don’t be peer-pressured into doing anything stupid that they might suggest, or into using more weed. If they’re good friends, they’ll know exactly what to say.
8. Prevention is better than cure
Well, if you accidentally got too high this time, then you can consider it experiential wisdom for next time. The best way to deal with getting to high is to prevent it from happening again. It’s really important to know your limits with anything in life, and cannabis is no exception. If you’re typically a low-tolerance kind of person, then start off the dosing really slow. You can always take more, but it’s pretty hard to go back once you’ve taken too much.
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The good news is that even if you accidentally took too much weed, you’re going to be fine. It might be uncomfortable for a couple of hours, but that’s not so bad, right? Once it wears off, you’ll realize that you’ve been through much worse in your life and that it wasn’t so bad in hindsight. Now try to enjoy the rest of your cannabis experience, and don’t forget to stay safe!
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